Go/NoGo

In my day job the term Go/NoGo is used daily. In this context it refers to whether or not we chase a project. There are several factors that weigh into that decision like size of the project, potential gross margin, and local experience in that area. We look at all the criteria, and based upon a weighted scale, we decide Go/NoGo.

I have always been rather fond of Ben Franklin’s decision making model. I use this model in most key decisions that I make. To say I am fond of it, well let me just lay my cards on the table…. I have a spreadsheet. There, you happy?

The basis of the model is really rather simple. You frame the decision in the form of a question, something that is answerable in either a yes or no regarding a course of action. Then you list the pros and cons, attaching a 1-10 importance rating scale to each of them. The next step is to assess the probability of the pros and cons by attaching a number to it. If the outcome is certain, then it would rate a 10. Once I have weighted, and assessed the probability, then I pretty much press GO on my spreadsheet and it magically multiplies the weight by the probability and totals the Pro and Con columns. Sometimes I will even weigh in my gut feeling. I am sure that Ben would have done this too. In the end, the decision really comes down to simple math.

Sometimes these decisions put us at a crossroads in our lives and the decision, when weighty, really feels too big for the spreadsheet ~ and logic really doesn’t seem to be the appropriate approach to these decisions. What then does one do? Ask Marge – she would say “pray”. Ask Jen, she would say “go with your gut.” Ask Cindie, and all I can say is that I wish it were as simple as an algebraic equation.

Ism's

The following is a list of my recent favorite Kayla-isms and Maycie-isms:

Kayla

· Mmmm, I-wish-iss! = Mmmmmm delicious!

· Bye I gotta shop (ummm where do you think she gets that from???)

· Whenever she is tattling, her hands go on her hips, and she says No faware = No fair! Mommy, Daddy no sharwing wif me.

· As she steps on Brandon, “sorry bud”.

· I’m a poop maaachine! (my favorite!)

Maycie

· Singing - - “We are in a washing achine, washing achine”

· In a high pitched princess voice “Let me take you to the princess castle where we can see Sweeping Cutie” ummm, that would be Sleeping Beauty. But don’t you dare try and correct her, I always want her to call Sleeping Beauty “Sweeping Cutie”

· Grandma, did you see those futterflies?

· Guess what Mom, Jesus is real. Grandma said so.

· Grandma, I love you the sun, the moon, the stars, fishing, fairy princess castles, gum, the ocean, and Cinderella.

I don’t think that this Grandma can stand too much more than that.

Life Garden

Yesterday began as a lovely Sunday morning. I had thought I would commune with nature and plant the flowers that I had bought well over three weeks before that still remained in their plastic quad packs. Gorgeous day… I changed into my red sweats and ugly white tee shirt and sat on the patio for a time; drank a little coffee; contemplated solitary patio life; contemplated what it would be like to have the life of a dog and only run and chase balls for a living. Ahhhh the life of Magdalena.

I started planting the flowers that I had ignored for a few weeks, I felt guilty as I had to throw away several of them that had been neglected beyond repair. I am not exactly sure whether they were wholly and fully neglected, or whether or not Scooter peed on them. It could be either… just sayin’. I got all the flower pots planted, weeded the side planter, swept and washed the patio down.

There is something about planting my garden that is fulfilling to me. I don’t know whether it is the feeling that I am starting something fresh and new, or whether I like to nurture and watch it grow, or whether I am anxious for tomatoes. I just know that year after year I plant my garden with great anticipation.

This year I decided that I really should plant my life garden. I want to do it with the same level of anticipation, excitement, and hope with which I plant my petunias, tomatoes, peppers, and marigolds. I am tired of solitary patio living. I want to travel to a romantic destination with….. someone. I want there to be a PaPa in the Grandma realm. I guess that as much as I am really good at making marinara, gazpacho and salsa from my garden, I am less successful in the cultivation process of my life garden. I need to work on that.

Random Facts and Simple Items of Interest

• The garden is not growing.


• I love my iPod Touch.


• Brandon's head smells yummy.


• Maggie is pouty.


• I want to be someone’s priority.


• It is nice to have a house full of people.


• I miss my Grandma.


• Kayla twitches her nose when she smiles big.


• I need new carpet.


• I love my feet right after a pedicure with Sonny.


• In September, I will be swimming in the ocean in a place I never have before.


• The planter in the front of the house is planted with red and white petunias.


• I love Maycie’s song “We are in a washing a-chine, a washing a-chine”


• Coffee is a gift from God.


• Three dogs make a lot more dog poop than two.


• I want a love in my life that completes it.


• I love Words with Friends (carrillosun if anyone is interested)


• I love my Daddy, and I will always be his Cinderella.

Just sayin’

Bathroom vs. Birthday Party

I admit it. I am not a good closer. Sometimes I struggle with completion. I know, I know ~ I am in therapy. But the first step is admitting you have a problem right?

Sometime back I tore apart my bathroom downstairs when the plaid wallpaper just wasn't doing it for me anymore. Back in the day, I used to tear apart a whole room, paint it and redecorate it in 6 nano seconds. But when I tore apart the bathroom I forgot that I am now...Ahem... 49, it took a lot longer. I enlisted help from all sources available. They completed - - came through for their Momma, but I am still left to finishing. And, as I so bravely admitted above, I am a poor closer. So.... enter my dilemma.

Do I finish up my bathroom or make a run up to Idaho and surprise my baby brother for his birthday? Bathroom..... birthday...... bathroom...... birthday......

Being the great closer that I

am

want to be ------------- BIRTHDAY!

Jake and I loaded up and started the 5 hour trek northwest. We had a great time visiting, listening to audio books (I love my new iPod Touch!) We stopped in Brigham City on our way. Being in that little town conjures so much in me. So many swirly emotions that I don't know how necessarily to address them all. It was there that I felt more alone than I have ever been in my life, completely isolated from everyone who loved me and every thing familiar to me. It was also a place where I have never been more loved in my life. The place where all my children were born. The place where I couldn't swing a dead cat without hitting an ex-husband. A place so stifling that I knew if I didn't escape it, the pure essence of my life would be sucked from me. And yet, all that said, when I go through I can't help but admire the beauty of its gorgeous and majestic mountains

And the quaint feel of the tree lined Main Street.

Jake and I had the opportunity to talk about where he came from, where he is going. We reminisced about times gone by and fun times in Brigham City. It's good for a boy to remember his roots. It is good for all of us to Remember Who You Are and What You Stand For.

We arrived in Boise and had a great time visiting with my Mom and Daddy. I always feel so connected; so plugged in when I spend time with my parents and my family. They encourage, they love, they help me to remember who I am and what I stand for.

Mike got the fishing assortment that every boy wants....please see Power Bait photo...

And if you don't get the correct/enough fishing accoutrement, then there is this - - The Sportsman's Warehouse gift card.

And seriously - - - you have to look cute when you fish right? (Ahem, that would have been my birthday present.....but hey, I did give him an econo sized jar of smoked almonds....you can take that fishing right??)

The birthday party was the right choice. My little brother will be 48 in a few days. And while I don't know everything about life, making the right decisions or being a good closer - - this I know, I made the right choice between the bathroom and the birthday party... Love you Miquito!

It's Just How I Roll

As life rolls along, you tear your bathroom apart because the plaid wallpaper doesn’t look as cute as you thought it did 7 years ago when you put it up. You find that there is two feet of piled up leaves in between the border of the fence and the concrete and finding the wherewithal to clean them out absolutely escapes you. You realize that two little weiner dogs can deposit an ungodly amount “fertilizer” on the lawn over the winter. And just about the moment that you wrap around all of these little factoids, anomalies, and realizations, a curve ball hits you. Who knew you were playing baseball? It is basketball season for God's sake. You take this in stride; you make the best of it. You even try to spin it in a positive light. But in the end, it was still a curve ball that hit you like a sucker punch. Just as you finish reeling from the shock and awe of it all, something bright and sunny happens. But you question it. You second guess it, because after all, that is what you do. You are the queen of second, third, fourth and fifth guessing. Typically when something is too good to be true, it usually is. I am holding out hope that this good thing is true. Because that is just the sortofgal that I am. You know - - it's just how I roll. .

Old Friends/Good Friends

They say that 56% of your waking time is spent at work. I guess that means that you better like your job!

A couple of weeks ago I was visiting friends and family in SoCal and had the opportunity to work out of our Irvine office. I got to see Susan, Cheri, Cathy, Peggy, Janette, Linda - - all of my old TKC family. It is hard when we were such a close knit organization to be acquired by a larger company with different values and culture. Somehow, we have managed through and survived it.

I love these pictures and I also love that we are all still good friends.

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The Princess Party

So, seriously, will this birthday ever end??? It started with a lovely weekend with my parents - - birthday dinner with Mom, Daddy, Mike and Shelly…. Ham, roasted potatoes, green salad, asparagus, and rolls. And of course, Mom’s incredibly yummy pineapple upside down cake…

Then to the Melting Pot for seriously yummy delishousness of shrimp, scallops, and salmon… a cheese fondue to die for, and one of the best Caesar salads I’ve ever wrapped my lips around…

Then on to last night with some of the best Mexican food I have had in quite a long time. It was followed by a Princess Party - please don’t confuse this or me with a Party Princess. It was just a Princess Party…. Please see photos. This will explain a lot.

Divas...yes....we are all diva princesses...

Through the midst of it all, Brandon remained fairly ambivalent.

Jake was just glad to be there with his Princess crown on.

Maycie and Kayla helped with the unwrapping part.

A good time was had by all, and I am seriously ready to put this birthday to bed. Can someone fetch my scepter and cape?

Muah!

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Momma Needs a New Pair of Shoes

Anyone who knows me knows I love shoes. Shoes, shoes, shoes. Pumps, flip flops, boots, mules, sandals, clogs, tennis shoes, sling backs, dress shoes, pant shoes, hiking boots….I have them all and at least a few pairs of each…okay, more than a few pairs of each. Did I say I love shoes?

Well just yesterday I got these darling little numbers in the mail… How cute are they?

It isn’t as if I really need a new pair of Frye Veronica Slouch boots. But okay, I really needed a new pair of Veronicas. I did. I swear I did. Ask my Mom, she’ll tell you.

The application for these are just endless. You’ve got your denim skirt, your skinny jeans, your kaki skirt… good grief, I could go on and on. See, I told you.... look how cute they are!

Truth be told, I needed these like a hole in the head, but I love them anyway!

Birthdays.....Aaack

I’m really not much of a birthday person and almost always approach January 31st as I would any other day. And this "no big deal" attitude toward my birthday has really started since I turned 40, because let’s face it, it’s not as if my life is really going to change for the day - - It is not as if I can just lie around and eat Ben & Jerry’s Brownie Batter ice cream and celebrate the fact that I’m one year closer to qualifying for Medicare.

Perhaps contemplating, on the 10th anniversary of my 39th birthday, things like…. how long will it be before I’m required to cut my hair short and have it fixed at the beauty shop once a week? And when will I be too old to call my kids and sing silly songs with them, or walk like an Egyptian? When will I finally feel like the adult my age suggests I should be? Because most of the time, I feel pretty dang immature for my age.

Fortunately, I have my physical body to remind me of what my mind hasn’t yet accepted. For example, I find I can no longer wear the fitted, light-colored t-shirts and snug ribbed turtlenecks I used to wear with equally snug jeans without also wearing a vest or jacket to hide the Michelin demon residing around my midsection.

I was pleasantly surprised to have these show up at my office…thanks K! I guess the 10th anniversary ain’t so bad.




Because after next year, in the profound words of Raymond Ned, “It’ll all be over but the cryin”.



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Seeking My Soul

Seems as though life takes us on journeys and we sometimes wonder when/if we bought tickets for the ride….and while on this adventure we feel like we left something at home, like your toothbrush or camera…

Well my journey has been so crazy lately, that I think I left behind my soul/heart somewhere. I am not sure if I lost it on the last adventure, or whether it accidentally got kicked under the bed and I just can’t find it. My world has seemed so twirly lately that I had to do something…And at the risk of being overly metaphorical, I can just say that I wasn’t capable of putting someone else’s oxygen mask on when I was totally gasping for air myself. Taking care of everyone else first was just killing me.

There are few places in life where I can go and center myself. Sometimes it is just in my own space of creativity, but mostly it is at the ocean, on the beach, and more specifically in the water at Leo Carrillo Beach. So I went.

This is the place…right here….in these waters…

And in this sand...

And of course Lifeguard Tower #3 holds special memories… and I won’t go there right now…but I can still see Sandy the Lifeguard’s face…..

I spent time watching the sunrise, and one morning at 5 a.m. I got up and went for a walk on the beach and found these little treasures…

And saw this… I don’t know, maybe I have been away from California too long, but seriously, who walks their miniature pony on the beach?

The sunsets were phenomenal.

My spirit was nourished. As for my soul/heart, I am still looking….

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Spring Break and Wildlife Refuge

So the past week Jake was away for Spring Break with his buddies. There I was, a mom alone, left to her own devices. Hmmmm…. So I thought maybe I would play music really loud…. I could walk through the house wearing only a towel…. Boy, the possibilities were endless. But what I really enjoyed was the quiet… the simple quiet of it all.

I was sitting on the couch late one night polishing some jewelry, and I heard this strange noise. It was kind of a scratching sound. I stopped, listened some more….and nothing. Hmmm, must be Scooter lying under the magazine rack scratching himself. And once the foul odor of dog gastro-intestinal distress reached my nose, I was fairly confident the scratching sound was Scooter. The week went on rather uneventful, occasional noises, frequent dog smells.

Jake arrived back home on Sunday evening. He was drawn downstairs to slay monsters and kill enemy soldiers ~ ahh the world of online gaming. As he was sitting down there with his AK57, he heard a noise coming from the fireplace insert. He sprinted up the stairs and said “Ummmm mom, I think there is something in the fireplace downstairs.” We went down together and banged on the top of the stove. The next thing I knew I was hearing this:

Muskrat Susie, Muskrat Sam
Do the jitterbug out in muskrat land
And they shimmy
And Sammy's so skinny

Nibbling on bacon, chewin' on cheese
Sammy says to Susie "Honey, would you please be my missus?"
And she say yes
With her kisses


And now he's ticklin' her fancy
Rubbin' her toes
Muzzle to muzzle, now anything goes
As they wriggle, and Sue starts to giggle


And the next thing I heard was that cooing and chirping sound…. Okay…so that is what I heard coming out of my fireplace - The Captain and Tennille . I think Susie and Sammy already did the raccoon love dance and I have their love children nesting in my fireplace.

Great…a momma and her babies in the fireplace. Raccoons can be fierce – seriously fierce. I looked up homeopathic ways to deal with varmints and I am leaning toward letting them grow up in a loving warm environment until they are 10 weeks old. At which time the momma and youngsters will leave the nest for bigger adventures. I think that is my solution of choice, given the sticker shock alternative of the “Critter Gitter.” Good Lord, $1,200 to $2,000 to get them out of there and do you think they really “relocate” them??? I think not. I can’t be responsible for Susie and Sammy’s love children’s demise. I just can’t do it.

So, welcome to the Poulson Wildlife Refuge. Tours are conducted daily 5 am- 12:01 am.

Birthdays and Parties

Do you ever feel sometimes like you just wish everyone would forget that it is your birthday? Like it is just another day? Well... I have. But I also know that I would feel yucky if the people who love me didn't celebrate it either...Geesh what a woman huh?

Mom and Daddy came down for the weekend and for my birthday we headed to J'Amy & Eric's. Maycie kept following me around with a birthday balloon that she was pretty insistent should be attached to my body at all times.

Happy Birthday Grandma!



Kayla was just pretty sober most of the night



With intermittent smiles, and pouts.


























This was the scene in the kitchen. Kirk with the asparagus, Mom making sure everything was going as planned.



J'Amy and Grandma.... pretty ladies!



Ashley and Drayton


Maycie helping Grandma open presents...



Maycie helping Grandma read cards...



Maycie helping Grandma eat her birthday cake....



It was a perfect birthday - a happy day... although the candles on the cake were arranged in a "4" and "0".... ya right that is it... my 7th anniversary of my 40th birthday :)




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Christmas Eve

It is Christmas Eve here at the humble hacienda.




The list reads something like this:
1. Presents Wrapped - check
2. Prime Rib Roast ready - check
3. Lists made - check
4. Last minute stocking stuffers - not checked
5. Last minute jewelry items - not checked

(Yes, Maggie's Christmas necklace DOES say "I Believe"

6. Cup of coffee - check
7. Ding Dongs - check

So it will be a white Christmas here in Bountiful. This is the scene in the backyard:





In my Christmas mailer this year I wrote "My grown up Christmas wish is that each of us live in gratitude." I hope you will take time to reflect on your life and be grateful for all the blessings God has given you.

Merry Christmas!


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What Do Trees Say?

I have a fond memory of meeting a guy (who is now a very dear friend) for the first time. We met at a park right here in Bountiful. You know how first time meetings go... I was a little nervous. We sat in the park and were talking. It was a lovely late summer evening. The wind was whistling through the trees.

**Point of note, I have always loved trees. Perhaps this stems from my time in Brigham City's Parks and Recreation Department where we nurtured and planted trees to become Tree City USA....ya, maybe that was it...**

meanwhile back at the park.... As we talked about the trees, I was really surprised that he had never really thought about trees in the way that I always have... that they are a living, breathing, beautiful part of this earth. They dance, they sing, they weep, they shed, they have their spirit renewed. It was a lovely first meeting for my friend and I and we often reminisce about that day and what he learned about trees.

What does my beautiful 50 year old sycamore tree say to you?


She is saying, "aren't I blessed! Look at me waving in the wind, bending in allowance for whatever comes my way. Rustling my leaves in perfect harmony....and I am smiling, can't you tell? I am dancing with my friend the wind".


Why yes she is....





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Class Reunion

So my class reunion is just around the corner. Okay, I am just going to be honest here… just because I think we are at that stage of our relationship, it is my 30 year class reunion. How is that possible when I am only 26? Uh um. Don’t answer that.

So I have been perusing my wardrobe trying to figure out what I can wear that will make me look like the 26 year old that I think I am. I found in the deep recesses of my closet this darling little black number that I thought would be perfect. I bought it online a couple of years, okay a few years, back for an event. The dress never once slithered over my hips after the day I first received it in the mail, tried it on, then went and ate a Ding Dong. Needless to say, I won’t be wearing that dress.

Why can’t I find something classic… kind of like what Audrey Hepburn wore in Breakfast at Tiffanys.

Well, maybe because I ate that Ding Dong (and subsequent Twinkies) that have led me to the place that I will just have to settle for some layered, ruffled, frumpy frock. I am destined to wear that Gunny Sax dress I just know it…

I wonder if I can lose 37.5 lbs. before the end of October.... probably not...

How Unique are You?

Well according to this cool little widget that my mom sent me… I am one of a kind :) Which, most of you who are reading this right now are saying a collective “whew”. Try it out and see how many others there are in the United States with your same name. It is kinda fun!

HowManyOfMe.com

There are or fewer people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Being Still

Interesting how an autumn morning, with the breeze blowing through my sycamore trees can make me completely introspective. It brings me back to a place and time in my life when things were so tumultuous, when life seemed so messed up. But this year, I am grateful. I love my life. I love all that is in it. I feel peaceful for the first time in many, many years. On this morning, the breeze is crisp. The contrast of the incredibly blue sky with wispy white clouds and the green of the Wasatch is staggering. The quiet of the day is soothing. All my senses are heightened. I love this day.