Loved

Call it a personality flaw. Call it a quirk. Call it whatever you want to call it, but I have this difficulty, this situation. I really have a difficult time letting someone take care of me. For so many years I have been incredibly independent~I've had to be. I have only allowed but a very few people into my life and have rarely let down my walls of protection. Don’t mind so much the walls, but seriously be careful where you step ~ watch for all those land mines that I carefully laid to protect myself.

There are two people who know nothing of walls and land mines. When they look at me they see a young little barefoot girl chasing in the backyard. They see a young lady, full of promise going to the prom with Robert. They see their daughter… their cute little blonde baby girl (yes, I used to be blonde) and they love me. They don’t see damaged goods. They don’t see a single mother who used to struggle. They see me ~ right to my soul they see me. And they unabashedly love me. My mom makes my coffee with just the right amount of sugar and half and half. My dad listens intently as I tell boring stories of work. They are the two people in my life who I let take care of me.

I love you so much Mom and Daddy ~ thank you for taking care of me. Thank you for loving me despite my incredible flaws. Thank you for my beautiful sunshine daisy and wanting to buy it for me because it looked like "happy". Thank you for always wanting the best for me and for constantly praying for me. Thank you for believing in me.

Muah!

Missing You

There are so many times during my day, week, month and year that I miss you so deeply that it encapsulates me. I wish sometimes that I could just twitch my nose and I would be sitting on the couch next to you in your living room in Newhall. I find myself daydreaming of you, mom, my daughters, granddaughters and me baking cookies in your kitchen and you pretending to look away while Maycie Jean sneaks a taste of cookie dough. My soul aches for you to know my girls and my grandbabies.

I recently read something that reminded me of how I feel, it went something like this:

Even though the feeling and sound in my heart gets softer, it becomes like the train that whistles in the distance a few times a day that is just always there but not so loud that you notice it daily or even weekly. It is just there until the moment when you are dancing in the kitchen as Neil Diamond sings, "she got the way to move me, cherry" and then the playlist suddenly ends and it seems so very quiet until you hear that train call from miles away and you find yourself paying attention again. It catches you. And then you notice it each time for a while after that.

I hear the train whistling and my heart aches with missing you. It is painful right to the middle of my chest. I know how lucky I was to know you, to call you my grandma and my friend. Today it overwhelms me. Today I can close my eyes and dream that I am in that beautiful Newhall house where love abounded, where there was always a yummy smell from the kitchen, and where my soul was fed. But when I open my eyes, it is just me here in my living room, missing you terribly and the distant sound of the train’s whistle.

I miss you my precious grandma…

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Fire in the Sky

Last night the sunset was monumental. Besides happening at a very poignant moment, the colors radiated throughout the evening sky. It is so amazing to me the color that is thrown from the reflection off the Great Salt Lake.

It was truly a moment ~

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Thanksgiving turns to Christmas OVERNIGHT

Okay, so first of all, I think it is time to take this down.

Second, can I just say “huh???”

First this… (yes, I am wearing sweat pants...no comment please)

Then this….

And then this…. I left my gloves out in the garage so I didn't track the snow in everywhere. I went out the next morning and they were frozen solid.

Holy Snow, Batman!

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Trans Siberian Orchestra

On Thursday night I saw TSO for the first time. What an incredible experience!




The light show was amazing.



The music incredible.


Did I mention pyrotechnics?


Wow..... seriously unbelievable.


Yes.... I will be going again next year!

What a Beautiful Bride!

I always love doing custom work, especially when it involves a wedding. I had such a fun time designing this lovely necklace for Hope. Below is my finished design. She was so thrilled with it.

I came across her wedding blog post here. Look how darling she is!

How fun would it be to get married in Disneyland? I love Disneyland. I think I will go put my Pump Up the Grump sweatshirt on ~ featuring one of my favorite dwarves.

Muah!

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My Coned Dog

I don’t know, maybe it is my warped sense of humor, but I find this funny. A weiner dog with a cone.

Here she is in happier times. Look at how incredibly fine she is. Please note the seasonal necklace. Thank you.

Then there is this…

The Cone of Shame.

Maggie and I speak the same language. I get her. She gets me. These are the top five things I hear her saying…
1. Pah-leeeese… no self respecting dog should ever be photographed like this.
2. Seriously, do I need to open my mouth and let out some foul odor to get you to stop?
3. Okay, okay, I know I have a little root grow out. What? I have been busy.
4. Maybe if I don’t make eye contact she will stop.
5. How much more do you really think that you can humiliate me?

And this…


The shame of it all.

Who knows Maggie, maybe there is a lesson to be learned here... just sayin...

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