So my darling daughter and her darling husband went away for the weekend on an annual golf get-away....good for them... A well deserved break! What does this mean for me? Me? Grandma? Ahh... the grandma opportunity... I get to have Maycie Jean all to myself for the weekend.
I headed over to J'Amy's house last night to pick up the little darlin - and low and behold - these days children come with instructions... at least children coming from J'Amy Nicole do.... three whole pages of instructions... the last thing on the list was "Tell Maycie every day that her mommie misses her and loves her." Check.
So today, the first day of our weekend adventure has been exciting so far... here's the run down...
We were standing in line in the Post Office - mailing off an international jewelry order and Maycie breaks wind like none other - - - which is followed by the loudest bowel movement I have ever heard a kid conceive.... then she laughs - and laughs - and laughs - - - so did everyone in line. I couldn't wait to get to the front of the line - at which time we get up there and the clerk proclaims - - "My, what a big job you did!" to which Maycie replied "WOW, whew, eeewww." Holy batman. After several folks in the post office encouraged her by saying "whew... whew..." we finally we arrived back in the snot rocket (the name my children have given to the green VW Beetle I drive.) I changed her lime green diaper (wow, it totally matched the snot rocket!) and it was off to the grocery store. We get into Dick's Market and are singing "Itsy Bitsy Spider" together when suddenly from nowhere comes a large and loud - "Uh oh" followed by another episode of breaking wind that woulda made her daddy proud... She giggles. About now we are in the dairy section - - she spots the chocolate milk - - "mmmmm" she says. Grandma says "yes... you can have some of that chocolate milk we have at home!" I am thoroughly delighted with the fact that we will have a treat when we arrive back home. I continue to move toward the eggs... oh, no, she will have none of that!!! She points insistently to the chocolate milk.... I keep moving - - Here it comes - Full On Scream.... In an Olympian moment, I put that cart in reverse and picked up that chocolate milk. Okay, whew - - we are good for now... Moving on to the granola bars, sippy cups, baby wipes, and the white cranberry/peach juice. We only have like 5 more minutes and we can get back to the snot rocket and head east!! Another verse of the itsy bitsy spider... we are almost there.... Checkstand....home base... and then she spots them - - the pink bouncy balls... Why do they put those stupid things by the checkstand??? She points... she eyeballs me....it is a test.... who will win. Quick diversion, the store clerk says "My what a darling little girl! Can I have that chocolate milk?" Ummmm noooooo...what was she thinking with??? Then it starts - - the low pitch growl.... and in a split second the clerk flips into her Olympian moment, she scans the chocolate milk and hands it back...whew... We are so out of there - - off to the bug... one more verse of itsy bitsy spider while I strap her into the car seat... while she shakes her chocolate milk. Upon arrival home, Scooter the dachshund pup diligently licks Maycie's face with that tongue that he just can't control... Up in the high chair for lunch.... Turkey sandwich with dill pickles....ummm ummm ummm ummm ummm..... with a soft background of "La la la la, Elmo's World"... We finished up lunch without incident. We wiped off our faces, sang itsy bitsy spider again - - with a fine chorus of John Jacob Jingle-Heimer-Schmidt. Then off to bed with the sippy cup of crystal light and the zebra striped minky blanket. Me? I am sprawled on the couch....
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